A Full Life in the Emptiest of Places [Isaiah 58:9-14]

Have you ever felt empty? Like you have nothing to give, nothing to offer? Maybe you feel like nothing. Like you have been pushed to the side. Maybe you just don't feel like yourself. You are depressed instead of happy. You can't celebrate others joys because of your emptiness. I'm right there with you. Feeling the exact same way. 

With the holidays right around the corner, I see and feel the emptiness in life. If you live in an average American home, like me, you were raised to make a Christmas list. Make a list of presents that will make you happy for a good two days and then will be stored away for the rest of the year until you ask for something similar and your parents say to you, "but you never use it, I am not going to buy you another one." We were taught that Christmas morning is a happy morning. The season is a happy season full of presents. [It is a happy season, I love it.] But, where is the life in these presents? I see emptiness.

This whole week of Thanksgiving I have been feeling empty. Like dry bones. Especially on Thanksgiving I was not myself. I stayed in my room. Sitting, pondering, sleeping, not being social... I couldn't bear doing things. After the big old Thanksgiving meal at my cousins house, all I wanted to do was to go home and lay in my bed. Disclaimer, I am not sick. But, this was and is not me. The extroverted, joy-filled Meghan was not there one bit. I tried to put on a face but it didn't work. Not this time at least. This morning I woke up and still felt the same was but my heart was empty more than anything. I listened to this song by Audrey Assad on my way to Starbucks, came home sat on my bed, opened my devotional for today [Jesus Calling by Sarah Young] and Jesus spoke to me. I opened up the Bible verses that were at the bottom of today's devotional in NIV & Message. There it was in Isaiah 58, the truth I needed to hear, truth I need to fill my empty heart.

"I will always show you where to go. I'll give you life in the emptiest of places- firm muscles, strong bones. You'll be like a well-watered garden, a gurgling spring that never runs dry" {Isaiah 58--MSG}

We shall not want anything else but the love of Jesus on our Christmas List. So as people are still shopping on this Black Friday, take time for Jesus. He is the best gift anyone could ask for and the best part is that your heart will be filled not empty. 

Waiting.

Waiting. Let's be honest no one really likes to wait on something, wait for something. We all have a tendency to be impatient. Right now, that's me. When I feel called to be somewhere or do something, I like to do it right away. I tend to be the spontaneous one which can be good is someways and bad in others. For example, I randomly decided to get my haircut. Bad choice, BAD choice. But, recently I have learned that the Lord wants me to wait. He wants me, Little Miss Impatient, to be patient. And boy, oh boy is he taking his precious time. Part of it is nature too.

Way back when in September at the beginning of my college application process, I didn't know where I was going to apply. Take that back, I had an idea but didn't feel like that is where Jesus was leading me. I decided to pray, alone at first, where the Lord wanted me. After four consistent weeks of prayer, Jesus revealed himself to me. He wants me to be in the South. With hints everywhere, from newspaper articles, to sermons, to music, to EVERYTHING, the city of Atlanta was calling my name. I was A-okay with this. I felt like I could pack up and move the next day. But, I am still in high school and still live with my parents. Bummer. Time for patience.

Ever since those days of hearing and seeing the city of Atlanta everywhere, they still appeared. It didn't stop...it got a little weird at times. I prayed and prayed. I finally opened up to my best friend about this. She knows me very well and although I thought she would be like no you are just thinking that, she prayed about it. I have no idea what her actual thoughts were during this time but I'm guessing they were nothing like mine. A couple of days later I received a text from her that would change my life forever. The text that read, "I could see you there in the South. I'm serious." Her opinion means so much to me and I know that she leaned on the Lord for this answer too. At that moment I couldn't believe it.

I dream. Really, I do. I have a BIG imagination which is great for a lot of things like random ideas, party-planning, etc. But, imagining my life is a whole other story. For the first time, I felt comfortable with the fact that I would be leaving Columbus, leaving everything I know to go to this new city. I had dreams almost every night of being in the city of Atlanta, loving Jesus. My heart was so heavy on this, I just wanted to leave and go. I saw myself living life for Jesus, serving him and raising a family in this city.

After opening up to some of the closest people in my life, family and friends, EVERYONE I talked to saw me in the South, saw me in Atlanta, saw me in a city I feel called to. I continue to pray about this and with only six months left of high school and a big college decision to be made soon, my answer will be coming and more of his will be too.

Now, I have to wait and pray. I invite you to join me on this journey Jesus has me on.

"Waiting isn't wasting when you are waiting on the Lord"

[read this the other day on twitter and it basically described my life]

Airports.

There is somethings about airports that I love and somethings about airports that I dislike. But, in general airports are my happy place. 

This may sound odd, I know but it's true. I love airports. I love the excitement of traveling and adventures, the excitement of getting on an airplane, the joy of putting my cell phone away for a couple of hours just so I can breathe and experience. I also love airports because sometimes when you arrive at them you pick people up such as family and friends. My heart gets excited when I pull up to Baggage Claim because typically that means I'm picking someone up and about to have a good time.

But, there is another side to airports. Somethings that I dislike. For example, dropping off people at the airport. It can be scary some days, I know but sometimes letting go is what you have to do. I hate to think about this side and don't really want to go into it now but I do know that this side doesn't bring me joy, happiness, or adventure.

I know you are probably wondering why I am blogging about airports, I mean seriously Meghan what's your problem, girl? But, this is why:

Have you ever been frustrated/mad at something you can't do anything about?

For example, I can't drive until I'm 16 or something crazy like that.

Well, that was me a few weeks ago. Frustrated and angry. I couldn't understand why I was being punished for being young. For being looked down upon and for not being able to hang out with my best friend because I wasn't 18. [nothing illegal was happening...just putting that out there] Here I had the longest day of my life, struggling with everything and the one time I need my best friend she is in town. Yay! But, no. Age hits me once again. And it's not her fault, not mine, not the Lord's. In fact it's no one's fault. It's society. I decided to drive out to the airport that night. I turned off my cell phone, told no one where I was going, and took an adventure of my own. I wasn't scared at all which was a first but I learned so many things that night. I drove around the airport for a good thirty minutes up, down, and all around. I finally parked my car in a parking lot and sat there, opened my Bible, worship music playing in the background, and journaling about my life. As I watched planes take off, I felt like I could breathe more. I felt free. 

"Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you." {1 Peter 5:7}

That night, I felt Jesus lift my heart. And oh, how it was amazing. I needed Jesus. I needed life. I needed him to show me he was there. And there he was, right there.

Let me continue to share how Jesus has been working in my life lately, showing me that he is so faithful.

[this connected to my life--sorry if it didn't make sense]